Pudendal Neuralgia: An Overview for the Non-Medical Community

Pudendal neuralgia is not a widely known condition, so I'm going to do my best to explain it to you here.  If you're googling your symptoms, just keep in mind that I'm not a doctor and this is in laymens terms.

The only way I can explain this simply is that you feel like your crotch is on fire – inside and out.  It’s like someone has poured acid all over you or you accidently sat on a cookie pan fresh out of the oven.  Why or how you would sit on cookie pan, I don’t know.  I’m not here to judge.  90% of my day is spent on fire.  Some days are worse than others with intensity varying, but I’m always on fire. 

Like I said before, it’s a touchy subject.  No one wants to talk about a burning vagina.  It’s certainly not dinner conversation and it’s not something you want to explain.  “I can’t come to work today because my vagina is on fire.”  “I can’t go to this restaurant because they have hard chairs and I don’t have a pillow.”  What?  See, it doesn’t work.  It’s weird.

I’ve had a history of back problems, so I was used to having back pain that would prevent me from doing things.  It was normal to say that my back was flared up and believe me, it was much less awkward.  There comes a point in time where you just say screw it and throw your modesty out the window.  Obviously, I don’t run around screaming my crotch is on fire – even though most days I’d like too.  It’s quite embarrassing and not something you want to tell your significant other, your family, or even your doctor.  Yes, at one point I was terrified to tell my doctor.  Clearly, I got over that quickly when I realized it wasn’t going away.  Surely they’ve heard of weirder things, so why shouldn’t I consult a physician?  Now if you’re unfamiliar with this predicament, you’re probably sitting there thinking, “eww she must have some sort of std or disease.”  Nope.  I’ve been tested – about a gazillion times if I might add.  It’s definitely a nerve issue.  It’s trapped or pinched or maybe just really angry.  My vertebrates are twisted in my lower spine, specifically L-5 and my sacrum, which is causing Sacroilliac dysfunction and pain shooting down my leg.  I also have ligamentous laxity, where my ligaments in the area are stretched out and not holding things in place.  In turn, my muscles have compensated and have tightened up on my right side to help hold everything together, crooked.  I think that being in this state for so long has impeded on the pudendal nerve, thus causing the fire below. Key Alicia Keys song “Girl on Fire” now.